Yes, there are some funny things about turning 50, to be sure. But what are the things to hate about turning fifty? Well, there are some…shall we say…moderately disconcerting episodes.

Here are my own top 5 reasons I hated turning 50:

1. Since turning 50, I am required to cast my eyes to the floor for a prescribed amount of time after applying my mascara so that it doesn’t end up on my eyelids when I open my eyes. Sigh…
2. Grandma-wave-goodbye arms: that telltale jiggling of the upper arms .. If you deny having experienced that horrifying sensation at any point whatsoever after the age of fifty…at least a tiny, tiny bit – you’re probably in denial!
3. My glasses: Suddenly I need them more often, and lose them more frequently. I am currently on the fence about eyeglass chains. No matter how stylish, are they a fashion statement or a portent of doom?
4. AARP kindly kept track of my age for some time, apparently. They were sending me frequent calls to action in my mailbox long before the magic day, making it clear to the whole world (well, at least my mailman) that I was approaching the golden age. I joined to stop the horrific public display of my impending milestone birthday, only to begin receiving large glossy AARP magazines for my reading pleasure. (Never mind that I love the magazine, that’s not important!)
5. My old body disappeared….has anyone seen it?

Do you have a list of things to hate about turning fifty? Or funny things about turning 50? If you’d like to share it, contact us!